COACH HASSETT CLEARED, COUNTRY BREATHES COLLECTIVE SIGH OF RELIEF
25 Jun 2008, 02:34pm Posted by MartyCoach Hassett has been cleared of any charges of possessing or exporting ivory (see earlier story), leading to scenes of unprecedented national relief throughout the PDR. As it turns out the alleged 200kg of ivory under the Coach's mansion were plastic halloween fangs with uncanny similarity to elephant tusks that were being saved by Chris Manley for his next assault on a dress up party.
Manley is mistaken for an elephant at least once a week in Vientiane.
When asked to comment Hassett mumbled "I love elephants, I love elephants, I love elephants, I love elephants, I love elephants, I love elephants, I love elephants, I love elephants, I love elephants", giving us all an insight into the profoundly deep thinking of the great coach.
Let it be said that for now and for all time - at the Lao Elephants we all love Elephants.
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