The Missing Match Report - Game 2: Land Locked Vs Ocean Locked
28 Sep 2009, 06:56pm Posted by MartyLao vs Bali
Much like an early 90s recession, this is the match report noone wanted.... but we had to have.
The Elephants second match at the 09 Asian Champs was against the tanned, buffed up Mark Occilupo's of West Lombok. Weighing in at a combined total of f!@#@#% massive kilos, these blokes looked like they'd done the odd tricep curl down on the Kuta foreshore. Even the Sepo was impressed with their massiveness and as if to say 'yeah sure you're big, but i am the reincarnation of Ganesh' ate two nearby Malaysian taxi drivers and a crate of chips just to show them who their daddy is.
Geographically and demographically Bali and Lao could not be any more different. Whereas Lao is clearly the beating heart of Asia, Bali's regional credentials are as dodgy as those of the very warm chaps from the United Arab Emirates. Discovered by the Portuguese in the Carribean in the 15th century and sold to the Indonesians a century later for a boatload of cinnamon and chives, Bali is hardly 'truly asia'. The island swarms for most of the year with the creme de la creme of Narre Warren, Rooty Hill, and Kalgoorlie - a cultural and spiritual melting pot par excellence.
Fun yes, Debaucherous yes, but Asia????????
It was cooking in the lead-up to the game sometime mid-morning and President Fenner was already glowing like a german backpacker on a spanish beach, missing only the budgie smugglers and scorpions tshirt. Aisey, with impressive amounts of neck fur had been awarded the prestigious 'hairiest elephant 09' leaving 08 winner Wil distraught. This was not the only change from 08 with a much more refined, professional Phants unit on display - Snakes, showing maturity beyond his years had not yet passed out, nor urinated in public. The Dodger had only had 7 beers, Langas had only had 7 massages, Phil had only had 7 ciggies, and Souk had only collected 7 showbags. prophukinpheshonal.
The game as I remember it was a cracker, a classic, a ball-tearer, timeless. For memory the beach bums kicked a couple before the phants banged through their first of the day courtesy of a Liam Jurrahasque 60 metre bomb from the phants own Walpiri wonderkid Liam ....um, Liam. Bang. Goal. Phants on the board. The beginning of something special.
When the siren rang the Geckos were up for memory, but not by much and the phants were gaining some momentum. Phisay was likely best on the ground in this one courtesy of a magic moment in the centre of the ground when he took on 1, 2 ,3 , 4 , 5 ,6 ,7 would be Gecko tacklers in one of the great phant moments of all time. At least thats how i remember it.
As has been well documented in global footy musings, the only real game of the day was the next one v the Swannies.
Subscribe via RSS
