Fevola stuns Asian footballing community
14 Oct 2009, 05:41pm Posted by Sexetary General
Brendan Fevola realises what he has given up by not raising his trunk with the 'Phants
Click to enlarge photo.In a sudden reversal, Brendan Fevola, formerly of the Carlton Waterlillies, has turned his back on the Lao Elephants football club, instead choosing to join the Elephants' more maroon and southern arch-rivals.
The rivalry between two of nature's most impressive beasts has raged since the Lions unsuccessfully tried to poach Elephants back-pocket of the century Phomvihane from the affiliated Ho Chi Minh Trailblazers, in his native Savannkhet. In recent times the hostilities between the two powerhouses had begun to thaw after an extended period of Elephants domination saw them rise to the top of Asian football, thus the world. However, with recent backdoor dealings between the Lions and Fevola the rivalry appears set to explode again.
Known for his antics on and off the field, and his ability to gorge an entire cow in one sitting Fevola was hoped to go some way to the 'Phants' efforts to replace the Seppo and Marky Marks. While Seppo was a ruckman and Marky plyed his trade mainly in the midfield there were high hopes that Fevola's ability to consume enormous and humorous amounts of food and alcohol would prove a suitable replacement for the duo. These hopes were dashed when, at the end of trade-week, a deal between Carlton and the Lions was hastily thrown together, leaving the Elephants holding nothing but their own trunk in their hands.
While the exact details of the proposed deal between Carlton and the Elephants has not been made completely clear, President Henri Le Cont did go public with his displeasure at how the deal turned out.
"Don't they know who we are and what we do? Didn't they see the way Roddy Rod Rod McGee was gonna knock that China Reds bloke's head off? If they don't think we're going to treat the whole Lions playing list the same way when we meet them next time they've got another thing coming. We were willing to provide 2 SHLBs, the highest Issan territory draft pick from the Nana Plaza draft and one night free of charge at the Mekong Hotel. We were willing to provide all this for a man who allegedly plays football. Laos is a small community, don't they know how taking Fevola could effect our reputation? We were going to do the Carlton Football Club a favour with this trade."
In response, the AFL's most dildo wearing player has been coy about what tempted him away from the Pink and Gray. Speculation however, has been rife that Fevola was dismayed when learning that BeerLao only had two breweries and instead thought his future might better lay in the haven of Bundaberg Rum.
Whatever the reason for Fevola's backdooring of the Elephants, the Elephants have resolved not to take it lying down. While the Elephants and the Lions won't open official hostilities until around the middle of next year, the Elephants have resolved to send a message to the footballing world when they take the field during the Indochina Cup on November 28 in Bangkok.
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